A Cockatoo, a Diamond, and a Lesson in Letting Go
A couple of years ago, Tina and I were at an exotic bird park in Queensland—a detour en route to a Tony Robbins experience. The park had "remove your valuables" signs everywhere, yet somehow, I managed to overlook a shiny new diamond earring I’d just bought.
I wasn’t used to wearing it. I’d recently decided to revisit my teenage flirtation with some bling I couldn’t afford back then. It took two minutes for a cockatoo to take a "shine" to the earring, and two seconds to remove it and disappear.
See photo just before theft.
Suffice to say, I was fairly annoyed—the earring was new, expensive, and now gone.
We searched. Nothing. I left in a funk. My day could have been ruined.
Then, relatively quickly, a phrase surfaced in my mind:
“Why has this happened for you?”
And so I reflected.
Carl Jung and the Cockatoo
Carl Jung spoke of individuation, the process of integrating the conscious and unconscious aspects of ourselves. Often, we define ourselves through external markers—our roles, titles, wealth, possessions. These “things” become stand-ins for identity. Jung warns that attachment to the material world can block self-actualization. If we are not mindful, the persona (our outward identity) can overtake the self (our true essence).
That cockatoo? It didn’t steal an earring—it revealed something to me.
My departed earring was just a thing, a trinket. It had no real bearing on my life. It was a possession. And if I’m not careful, my possessions can possess me. Ouch, that last one hit home.
Jung also introduced the idea of the shadow self—the parts of us we suppress or ignore. My reaction to losing the earring (annoyance, frustration) revealed an attachment I didn’t realize I had. The cockatoo, in its mischievous way, exposed something in me.
Meaning-Making in Business and Leadership
Right now, most leaders are deep in new financial year planning. Ordinarily, this involves looking back before moving forward. Reflection isn’t just an exercise—it’s individuation in action. It’s about integrating what worked, what didn’t, and what we’ve learned.
I like simple retrospective models such as:
Keep, Start, Stop – List and share all the behaviors, motions, and habits that fit each category.
The 4 L’s – Loved, Loathed, Longed For, Learned. As above.
Peak and Pit – What was the highlight of the year? What was the biggest challenge? And what’s the path forward?
Jung would probably argue that retrospectives aren’t really about strategy—they’re about self-awareness. They help us see our blind spots, recalibrate, and move forward more consciously.
Tough times pass. They make tougher people. And they happen for us, not to us.
But only if we pause to ponder, integrate, and take some meaning away from it all.
I help founders, owners and leaders create and execute great plans for building exceptional company value. If you’re ready to take your business to the next level, or just need help making sense of it all, hit reply.
