Trusting Integrity
Why you can’t trust integrity.
I think about values, probably an unhealthy amount. Why? I believe they're incredibly important; they’re the lens through which we view the world, the basis for our narrative to make sense of it all, and the driver of all of our decision making. We decide to do something based on our emotional pull or push and those emotions are governed by our values.
One place values become incredibly important is in the recruitment process. Both parties are trying to establish alignment - of values, expectations and so on. When interviewing people I always discuss values - fairly deeply. Over time, and thousands of interviews, it became clear that almost literally everyone considers the honesty, trust or integrity piece to be a core value. Sometimes all (alarm bells!).
In dealing with many of these people over time, I realised that some were honest to a fault, others, very liberal with the truth. Occasionally this was so liberal as to be pathological. I concluded therefore that integrity is not objective, it’s subjective. From a patched up gang member who crimes for a living to a person of the clergy, they all believe in their own integrity. You may recall the expression ‘honour amongst thieves’...it’s a legitimate thing.
So, I think that integrity is the great leveller of values. It is our natural state - I’d suggest we always know what the right thing to do is. And if you have to say it, it just may not be true. I once had an employee insist to me that they could be trusted, after having already discovered them lying twice. Of course they continued to do so, until I encouraged them that their future career aspirations were best served elsewhere.
So if you’re in discussion with someone to establish what their version of integrity looks like, I’d encourage using some different questions, including the odd leading one:
Is it fair to say that integrity is one of your main values?
How does this manifest for you?
Give me an example of how you’ve lived into this.
And another one?
In what circumstance or environment would you behave contrary to this value?
What would you add to this?
And perhaps, it could be an opportune moment to consider your relationship with integrity.
Cheers,
Josh
"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."
– Roy Disney
The integrity paradox
The notion that by upholding your integrity, you can inadvertently create more harm than good is a profound paradox in leadership. In my early leadership career, I championed absolute honesty, believing in the clarity it brought to performance discussions. However, this directness, while well-intentioned, often proved too harsh, confronting individuals in ways that could hinder rather than help their professional growth. This experience taught me that sometimes, one can indeed be too honest. Emotional intelligence is vital in this balancing act. It allows leaders to read the emotional state of their team members and adjust their message accordingly. This sensitivity can help in delivering honest feedback in a way that empowers rather than alienates.
