Why Growth Isn’t Always Sunshine and Rainbows
There’s a dark side to growth that’s really never discussed, I’ll give it a punt here.
Firstly; growth is great. I’ve experienced more joy, awareness, connection, love and wellness in my life due to developing an early addiction to growth. But, it's not all tree hugging and singing kumbaya; it's frequently hard and occasionally terrifying. And (to me) it’s all been worth it. [Specifically I refer mainly to the ‘being more’, over ‘knowing more’, type of growth].
If you’re to do this to its fullest extent, YOU WILL CHANGE, and….probably the world's best known aphorism: change is hard. For you of course. But also for others. I truly hope this change makes you better; you’ll know this not because you have more, but are more. However, be prepared for some unintended consequences….
1. Folk may try to pull you back to the ‘old Josh’ (insert your name here 😉). Your new version will show your pals’ subconscious that they’re the same old person. It may not sit well with their ego.
2. People will judge you. It’s super easy to say - haters be haters, just ignore 'em. In practice, it’s somewhat harder to do. Clearly, I’m still working on this.
3. Resistance. Steven Pressfield in his wonderful book The War of Art goes deep on this. Suffice to say, resistance is a bitch, you’ll experience it to varying degrees and regularity. Resist the resistance.
4. Once you start, you can’t stop. Growth is highly addictive. There's so much to it, in some senses it may be easier to not see. Think Neo in The Matrix. I took the red pill.
5. In the moment, it can be very hard and fairly unpleasant. I’ve endured some excruciatingly painful experiences, been very unwell and cried my heart out (including once into a Southland farmers shirt - he was a gentleman about it).
6. It's confounding. At various times, I’ve been as confused as a Trump supporter being given 5 shovels and told to take his pick. I’ve learned to welcome confusion; I’m about to learn something.
7. Here’s the kicker: you’ll probably have to make some new friends, both through outgrowing the old ones, plus it's amazing to be on the journey with others
Context time: Since being introduced to some Zig Ziglar tapes in the early 90’s, I’ve been committed to becoming more (and knowing more of course). I’ve attended countless courses, read over 600 development books, been therapised extensively, meditated, journaled, froze, boiled and interacted with the no-longer-living. Plus many, many other things. My true old friends think it's hilarious, and really appreciate the kinder and more present man I’ve become. Surprisingly - some others preferred the old Josh; he could be a bit of a dick though…go figure.
Is it worth it? 1000%.
Cheers,
Josh
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
– Allan Watts
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
– Will Rogers
"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong."
– Mandy Hale
Sharing a growth hack - paraphrased from James Clear
You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
If you want growth, make it easy! Create a habit of reading 10 pages before sleep. Build listening to books into your workouts. Commit to courses at the start of the year. Make a goal for learning. Frame growth as positive and empowering, NOT as work. List the subjects you want to learn about and go research. Plan to write about what you learn - if you teach, you’ll understand at a deeper level!
